Anticipation Begets Anticipation Begets... You Get The Idea

Yes, still waiting...

Technically I am early. But I, and likely a lot of other first-timers in the past, viewed my wife's belly as "abnormally large" and naturally expected the baby to slide on down the birth canal to an early birthday. However, my original 2-week guess turned into a 10-day understanding, then to a 1 week acceptance, and before yesterday to a 4 day demand. I seem to be getting a glimpse into Kaelyn's teenage years: she doesn't really care what I think.

Sarah had her weekly visit to the doc yesterday. Still healthy, still head-down, and still 1cm. Translation: No. Change. At. All. The "1cm" dilation we heard about 3 weeks ago certainly piqued my interest, but I've come to think 1cm is simply the doc's glass-is-half-full way of saying "Grab a seat kids, you're gonna be hear awhile".

There was some good news however. Since Sarah's official due date is Friday the 26th, the doc set an induction date of Wednesday July 1st. The plan is to check her in to the hospital, get her all comfy and happy, make sure she's fully hydrated and in good health, then start the show. While most people are excited about technology and the ability to plan their child's birth around their shopping schedules, I'll admit I'm a little down about this. I had this great vision in my head of the perfect triumphant birth. Let me set the scene for you (queue dream sequence).

While a work finalizing a huge deal with a large customer, the phone rings. Putting the customer on hold, I answer my ringing phone and hear the good news: "I'M HAVING A BABY!". I'd have to tell the customer I'd call them back, I'M HAVING A BABY! After hearing him agree to the deal anyway, I'd slam my phone down, grab my keys, and sprint out of my office (in slow-motion of course) to a standing ovation and someone playing the theme song to Chariots of Fire. My frantic 911 call to inform the authorities "I'M DRIVING 112 MPH DOWN 183 BECAUSE MY WIFE'S IN LABOR!!!" would no doubt lead to a 3-pronged escort through 15 miles of Dallas freeway. My arrival at the hospital, where I park in the doctor's space of course (MY WIFE'S HAVING A BABY!!! WHO HAS TIME TO WALK???), is met with the doctor handing me my scrubs and escorting me to the labor room where I would triumphantly enter to my wife's relieved expression and cries of "I LOVE YOU! WE'RE HAVING A BABY!". A couple of hours of comfort and strength (provided by yours truly) would be rewarded with my single tear of joy dropping on Kaylen's cheek. I would cut the cord, walk out into the waiting room where our parents, sisters, brothers, grandparents, friends and extended family would be eagerly anticipating the arrival, and pronounce "WE HAD A BABY GIRL!!!". Where upon family and friends alike would hug and laugh and cry and even the triage nurse would shed a tear. It would be beautiful.

Instead, I'll drive home from work in 5pm traffic, grab a bag, park in the normal person parking spot, and set the timer for the hatching. Oh joy.

All kidding aside, even a timed hatching will be a beautiful thing. But for those of you who wonder, I'll still be screaming inside.

1 week and counting. We can't wait to meet you baby girl! ~Love, Daddy.

The Waiting Game - Final Round

We're now sitting at about 11 days out from B-Day. At least for me, time sure has flown by! I'm sure Sarah would have a differing opinion.

With Sarah in the final stages she's begun the weekly doctors visits, each time hoping he decides she better make a b-line to the hospital. At last check Kaelyn is head down and ready, and Sarah was 1cm dilated. Sounds like go time, but Kaelyn seems to be enjoying her little cocoon. We've gotten plenty of advice on ways to dislodge her, number one being spicy Mexican food, but all the jalapenos and salsa in the world don't seem to have an effect on Baby H (although she may give an occasional "Damn that's hot" kick in protest). Sarah's also trying to stay on her feet more and get out to walk in the afternoons. I'm not sure if she's hoping gravity has a better grip than Kaelyn or what, but I'm up for it if she is.

Sarah's hanging tough, still working eight hour days and working around the house, but she's about ready to cut the cord and get this show on the road. Not only is she in physical discomfort, but the social aspect of the situation has gotten to her as well. I've witnessed it first hand and can sympathize with her. I can't remember the last time we stepped outside and didn't hear a "Are you having twins?", a "Must be a boy!", or the most common and least necessary, "Wow, you're about to pop!". I believe I've been guilty of that last phrase myself. Hell, I even have a previous post with that in the title. Don't worry ladies, I've taken that one out of my repertoire.

I personally have found myself in an odd state as of late. It's hard to explain, but this whole pregnancy situation has just sort of become, well, our situation. It's kind of like our engagement: There was the planning of the question, or in this case the conception (no details will be provided on this part, thank you...). Then there was the question itself, but instead of a yes we found two pink lines. Then there was the waiting. And waiting. Aaaaand waiting. During this wait period I've just come to know Sarah as preggers, much like Sarah was my fiancee. I had tended to forget that, yes, we were actually going be married, much like now I seem to forget that the growth under Sarah's shirt is actually my daughter. The only difference between the pregnancy and the engagement (besides the obvious folks...) is the definitive date.

Now, as the final stage approaches and I know what's in store I feel like Christmas Eve (every freaking night, hence yet another Midnight post). It's harder to sleep. Every time Sarah's picture pops up on my phone my eyes widen. When she's in the other room and yells for me I could probably run through the wall without a blink. I feel this sudden desire to hold my daughter, and I don't even know what she's going to look like.

I guess, in essence, I feel like I'm engaged to be a father.

I'd meant to start some kind of betting pool for the big day, but I think 11 days out is a little thin. Not sure what I would have offered up as a prize. Maybe you get to change the diapers for a day? I had the 12th pegged, and since that's passed it sounds like a pretty good prize to me. Either way, the day is approaching soon and it sure does feel like a good time to be alive.

We'll meet you soon Baby Girl!!! ~~Daddy

The 11th Hour

Month nine is upon us. Fourth quarter. Bottom of the ninth. Last lap.

Or as many dad's have put it, the "HOLY SH*T I REALLY AM GOING TO BE A DAD!!!!" month.

In truth, the one-month remainder begins on the 28th, but taking in to account the size of Kaelyn's cocoon, and possibly Mom's mental willingness and eagerness to return to normalcy (Ha!), the safe bet says we're about 2-4 weeks out. A few signs the nurses have told us usually hint to a 2-3 week remainder have occurred: Kaelyn's begun to drop and the Braxton-Hicks contractions have started up. They also said the "nesting" phase usually pops up about a week out, but any observation of Sarah over the past few months leads me to call BS on that one...

Considering the obvious, Sarah's doing very well. She's right in line with her weight gain, and the doc says all her signs point to a healthy mama and daughter. Kaelyn has definitely kept up her aerobics and kick-boxing routine, and maybe even taken up Tae-Bo, but Sarah's staying strong. She does wear down a little easier, and staying-put is no longer an option. Sort of contradictory I know, but Mom's a trooper.

We made it down to San Antonio this past weekend for Sarah's shower. Along with a couple of other soon-to-be moms (Callie Gauthier with her first, and Brooke Minihan with number two. Both boys!) and our families, the girls played fun party games and ate cake while the men retreated to Hooters where we downed somewhere in the vicinity of 250 wings and toasted the fact that we weren't pregnant ourselves. A great time was had by all, and I thank each of you that were able to make it (and those that tried as well!).

All-in-all things are really coming together. Other than a few decorative items, we have most everything we have either been told, read, or guessed that we'd need for her arrival. As Chris Gauthier put it, it's a wonder that babies ever survived a hundred years ago without a Diaper Genie and "Boudreaux's Butt Paste". But hey, gotta stay with the times.

On a sentimental note, I have to say how much I do appreciate everyone, family, friends, and those that walk the fine line between both, for the love a support you've all shown for all three of us. As a couple, I consider us one of the lucky ones that have friends and family that span all walks of life, philosophies, religions, and beliefs. This has allowed us to see the world from many perspectives and ideals, and become more appreciative of everyone and everything. While this is great for us as a couple, it's even more meaningful that each one of you has had a hand in shaping our daughter as these feeling and thoughts will be passed down to the next generation, and hopefully beyond. As you all watch our daughter grow, I hope you can sit back and take a moment to realize that you helped make her. In some way or another, you all have had a hand in her life. Thank you.

Of course, if she winds up on Girls Gone Wild I'm blaming each and every one of you as well...

And of course, here's some obligatory updates. Enjoy!

Even Leeroy looks worn out.

Revamped closet. Already full. Hmmm....

If only it could change diapers.

About Ready To Pop

Sarah mentioned it'd been awhile since we took a new belly picture. The photo on my previous post was taken about one month ago. Let's just hope she slows down a little bit in these final two months. Sarah's always had great abs, but I think they're just about stretched to their limit...

Who's going to start the betting to see if she makes full term???

Tick Tock Tick Tock...

Well boys and girls, here we are at the final two months. Believe it or not, there's no turning back now! (Lke there ever was to begin with...)

Sarah's now on a bi-monthly doc appointment schedule, which will be the case until June when she starts going every week. So far she's right on track with everything from size and weight gain, to pain and aggravation enhancement. She's been a trooper though, having weathered through work, travel to San Antonio, and weddings (yet another next week!). With the anticipation and growth comes new aches and pains, and a slight increase in fatigue. Kaelyn has decided she's going to grow straight out rather than up, down, or side-to-side. Without a profile shot, you would almost forget mom's about to be a mom. Example: These two pictures were taken about three weeks ago, about one day apart:

Front View - Where's The Baby???

Side View: Found Her!

We've even had some pretty impressive calisthenics being practiced as well. I'll do my best to get some videos uploaded soon.

As for me, I'm finally getting some connection to what's really occurring. I always wondered about the fatherhood side of pregnancy, and honestly I had it pegged pretty well. Even for a sap like me, up until now you really don't feel much. I mean, of course there's the anticipation and happiness, but it's sort of like a combination of Christmas and watching your friends pregnancy. Sure, you know something big is coming and you are aware that it's life-altering. But other than that, it's not the big of a deal. Until now.

I can say I've had two complete moments of clarity. One was when I felt what I believe to be Kaelyn's head rub against my hand repeatedly. Then, upon inspection I see some appendage movement from east to west across Sarah's tummy. I like to believe it was Kaelyn waving hello; glad to hear her daddy was home!

The second moment wasn't quite as surreal, but more of an confirmation of what I knew was to come. This time last year, mid-April to mid-May, Sarah and I were traveling to Austin for boat party's on Lake Travis; to San Antonio to close bars during an engagement celebration; to Rockwall for a crawfish festival with the Minihan's; and spending days in Fort Worth walking the streets at art festivals. Suddenly, last weekend, I find myself in Target on a Saturday night at 9:00pm pushing a cart with an Eddie Bauer travel system stroller in it through checkout lane seven. I was suddenly amongst the middle aged women who shop at that hour to "beat the crowd". I can honestly say I confirmed (mind you, I had already prepped myself for this moment) that the free-wheeling days are over, and daddy-hood is my new full-time gig. But hey, beer's cheaper at the Holland house anyway!

With two more months to go, the anxieties are starting to mount. Will she have red hair? Will she combine her mother and father's rears for a super-junk butt? Will she ever, ever, ever let us sleep? The best answer I can come up with right now is: Who cares? We love you anyway, enormous booty and all...

A Few Other Pictures

Jay and I picked out a few cute little summer dresses for our sweet little June baby on the way. We are hoping for a newborn size baby, but you never know since Jay was a huge baby...almost 10 pounds!

The blue one is her first river house trip dress and the green one is the first thing (other than the TECH stuff) daddy Jay picked out.

A Babies Room in the Making

Well, the once hideous blue-green second bedroom is now pink! We finally decided to get to work on the babies room since her arrival is approaching very quickly and although pink was not the plan in the beginning, daddy Jay decided that anything was better than the blue-green and let us go a little pink crazy. I guess I should mention that if we decide to have another baby and it’s a boy.....I assured him he would get to drive that decorating party. As result, I have already started to prepare myself for a red and black room in my future that includes accents of footballs I am sure!

Of course it was a family affair.....Aunt Jenny laid the plan and dad, Grandma Lavina, Jay and I all took on our perspective jobs. Mom lucked out since she was in the Valley with some kids from the school at a contest. Dad was in charge of building the valance for the window and of course the electrical - hanging the chandelier. Grandma and I (because Jay wasn't to crazy about the light pink paint at first) took on the task of painting and Jay took on all the other associated projects. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention.....Jenny was the project manager!
Needless to say, it all turned out great and the additional touches will all fall right into place as the day approaches. For now, the room as is will cover almost all the immediate needs and it could function pretty well should this little one be arriving earlier than her mom and dad have planned!

I have added some pictures so you can see what we have done so far. You probably noticed Leeroy also, he thinks the room is for him, especially the brown rug. I think he must be color blind! Once we get is all done, you have to come by to see the real deal. We love you all and can’t wait to see you soon!

This One's For You Mom

Ask and you shall receive...

My Hopes

As I laid in bed tonight, obviously unable to sleep (hence the midnight post), I couldn't help but race a few thoughts through my head. I continue to witness the mass that was my wife's belly grow on a daily basis, reminding me daily of the imminent life changer headed my way in T-minus 110 days. I see friends of ours with their children and watch them all interact in such amazing ways. I realize how lucky I am to watch some of my best friends raise their children, and be witness to each little miracle these kids accomplish. I, in the grand scheme of things, am one lucky S.O.B.

However, Baby H's days haven't yet begun. I have this Utopian idea of parenthood in my head (yes, yes, I know there's diapers and projectile vomiting involved, but let's keep our eyes on the big picture here), but what's truly in store? What will life be like for her once she hits the ground running?

My biggest fear of parenthood, to this point anyway, is of misdirecting my daughter. Of putting my own hopes and dreams for her, my utopia, before her own. I fear setting her up for a life that she believes will make daddy proud, but won't allow her to be who she wants to be. So, in an effort to dispel these directives I have replaced them with different hopes. Not so much for a certain lifestyle but of a life. Here's a few:

• I hope for you great health. I hope you don't inherit daddy's asthma or either of our sensitive skin. I hope for no major hiccups along the way. I hope you live life, from the first minute to the final, with vitality and vigor.
• I hope for you great friends. I wish for you to pick a handful that will be by your side like mine have for many years and through every new turn, and a bucket-full that can experience life with you throughout each new stage.
• I hope for you knowledge and a love of learning. I really hope you pick this up from mommy and not from me... I hope you gain a thirst to enhance your own skills, be them mental or physical, that is never quenched.
• I hope for you a warrior spirit with a kind heart. I would love nothing more than to watch you work your way through life conquering everything you set forth to do, while helping those you encounter along the way.
• I hope, above all else, you feel love like no other. Every day of my life, be it from your mom, your grandparents, your Great-Grandparents, your Aunt Mica or Aunt Jenny, or the many other Aunts and Uncles your about to meet, I hear the words "I Love You" from someone. I hope each time you hear these words you can feel the comfort and appreciation that I do.

These are just a few of the things I hope for her as zero hour approaches. I'm sure, as time goes on and crawls turn to first steps, to running steps, and eventually to a sprint that I'll pick up a few more. But, throughout all of this, one thing I am 100% sure will occur is that I will love you every day, and will hold nothing back to turn these hopes to a reality. I love you baby girl.

Just About Half Way

Well, here are, right around 4 1/2 months. We've made it to the top of the hill, so to speak. According to my fancy little countdown calendar, we've still got a whopping 134 days of incubation remaining till Baby H reaches touchdown.

Neat things starting to occur:

1. Visible Pregnancy Confirmation for Daddy!

Loving the belly bump. And for those of you keeping track, yes those are my college football sweats she's sporting.

2. Sarah's also feeling lots of movement from our little dancer. She's especially active in the afternoon and after meals. Can't wait to see that foot roundhouse her belly.

3. The nursery's coming together. We're lucky enough to have the exact same crib Sarah slept in herself as an infant, and Katie & Brian officially brought her first stuffed animal.

4. I'm on a mad blitz to finish the projects we've started so we can focus on the baby. We laid new flooring down in all the bedrooms thanks to my pops and Mr. V. We're almost finished painting everything (except the nursery. Please ignore our previous tenants odd choice of light baby-blue above). The house is really feeling like a home.

So up to this point we've had an ideal pregnancy. Healthy baby, healthy mom, and (thanks to all my friends continuous reminders to keep my mouth shut and do what she says) a healthy dad.

We have a great video of the sonogram in which you can see her moving, kicking, spinning, jumping, stretching, or whatever the heck she's busy doing in there. It's on a VHS tape, but I hope to move it to digital and get it on the blog. Pretty incredible what these machines can do.

Hope all is well for all of you out there, and I can't wait to see you holding her soon!

Drumroll Please!

Yesterday we were finally able to get Sarah in for her 20 (now 21) week check-up. She had a regular appointment at 11am, then the big reveal at 12:20pm.

As for the health of the baby, everything seems to be in perfect working order. In the sonogram the doc pointed out the kidneys, the liver, all four chambers of the heart, the lobes of the brain forming, and a completly intact spine. All of this was made slightly more difficult due to the aerobics class Little H seems to be enrolled in; we couldn't get it to stay still! It was pretty entertaining though, I will admit. They also performed all the tests, such as downs and some others, and everything seems normal.

So here's a few photos for your viewing pleasure:

The Head-On Profile:

Apparently we're giving birth to a beautiful baby skeleton.

Here's the profile view. I'll admit, this was pretty surreal. We could see every kick, punch, and dodge. Everything gets very real when this one pops up:

And now, without further ado, I present our beautiful baby girl...

I know, I can't really tell what that thing is either. But hey, that's my daughter so quit staring you perv...

It's a relief to finally quit calling my offspring "it". We're working on names right now and I think we're getting it narrowed down to a few. I didn't even name my own dog, so needless to say I'm not an expert.

So here we are, at week 21 with a very healthy baby girl waiting in the wings. Sarah's feeling her movements now, and I'm pretty giddy about the first day I get to take part in that. Next up: nursery painting! Who's in???

The Big Reveal - Take 2

Well, the doc was "gracious" enough to reschedule for next Wednesday. So, barring any further minor excuses for cancellations, we should have a gender determined around 1300 hours. We'll keep you posted!

And the Mystery Continues

Today was supposed to be an exciting day for the Hollands. Today we were scheduled to arrive at Sarah's doc and decipher, through all it's grainy wonder, whether that little peanut was going to bless up with a princess or a, well, not princess...

Mother Nature had other plans.

Last night a somewhat severe ice storm made it's way through DFW. It did get cold. It did rain. It did ice. BUT, my pregnant wife and about 90% of the population still made it to work this afternoon! God forbid the doc keep his schedule. They could have moved the appointments later, but alas, they cancelled everything altogether.

So the mystery of the peanut's privates continues. We're supposed to hear some word about a rescheduled appointment tomorrow. In the meantime house prep continues: We've picked out the colors for the nursery (except the choice depends on this whole genitalia thing), the flooring goes in this weekend, the painting of the living room is almost finished and, thanks to Jenny, the bedroom paint is all done. Lots of work, but worth all the effort. I think...

Another update should come tomorrow once we get word of the new sonogram date. Stay tuned, stay warm, and stay safe!

Visual Confirmation

Hello all!


If you've been wondering what's taken us so long to post, hmmm, let's see:


12/15 Closed on the house.
12/19 - 12/21 Moved into house.
12/24 - 12/28 - Had family in for Christmas (and help!).
12/31 - Had friends over for New Years Eve.
1/1 - 1/3 - Had friends stay for the Cotton Bowl.
1/5 - 1/9 - Sarah came down sick, played doctor and worked on house.
1/10 - Present - Recovery...


It's been one heck of a whirlwind month. However, fun things have been thrown in from time to time to remind us of what's in store! Dates have been set for events and the ever growing belly of my wife remind me daily that yes, I am in fact going to be a father before I know it.

Sarah's currently right on track. During her last check-up they informed her that's she up 9 lbs, which is right where she's supposed to be. All the check-ups have shown that she's in tip-top shape, probably even better than I am unfortunatley. The big check-up comes next Wednesday the 28th when we'll find out if "it" becomes "him" or "her". Thank God, I'm tired of referring to my child like something out of a 50's horror film.

Other than that we're just working on prepping the house. Sarah's begun painting the place (except the nursery. Need to wait to see what the kids packing before we can pick that color!), we ordered some flooring so we can get rid of the carpet, and I'm up to yard bag number 40 trying to clean up the mess the previous residents left in our yard. Sarah's pretty excited about fixing up her and Jenny's old crib for her own little one and getting the nursery in order. I have a feeling, after the sex is discovered, that this little shin-dig will be thrown into overdrive. So be prepared for a few more rapid posts in the months to come! Talk to you all soon!